(Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 NIV) There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven ... a time to weep and a time to laugh.

"Big boys don't cry." I learnt the lesson well and left my hurts and hidden tears tucked away inside for 30 years. Now I know better but it's not easy learning to get in touch with my feelings and becoming emotionally honest.

Kris and Leif, my two nephews, are among my favourite people. I hope they grow up with emotional freedom. My life, and clothes, have been watered by many of their tears. So often after the tears we have the most beautiful heart to heart chats that I'll always treasure.

Kris tearfully led me outside on Christmas Eve. He sobbed out how his cousin had told him that Santa was going to come downstairs where everyone was and would be mean to him. I just held him safely in my arms as he opened up and shared his fears. As he expressed the deep feelings of the moment the tears dried up. Before long he raced downstairs, just in time to see Santa appear on television!

When 5-year-old Leif wasn't looking his 3-year-old playmate took over his pedal car. He threw a tantrum and became quite cruel. The anger and tears were far more than the situation called for and it seemed that a deep hurt had been triggered.

I held him lovingly in my arms and let him scream and cry.

It was a bit of a worry what the neighbours might think, he was carrying on so much but he needed to get it out. He calmed a little and I carried him around the block as he sobbed. Eventually the tears ended and we played together in the park. As we left we detoured around a bird so as not to scare it. I said I liked to be gentle and not scare creatures. He told me in such a beautiful way that he was gentle like me and didn't like to scare creatures or hurt people either. His anger had been washed away with the tears.

Big boys do cry: "Jesus wept." So do little ones. In the moments of tears there is healing. After that it's time for the laughter!

—Graeme Frauenfelder